Guide to Miami

Besides the MiamiBeach411 guide (linked the other day) to things to do in Miami if you're visiting for the Super Bowl, of course you can't miss Dave Barry's latest:
Do not be alarmed; Miami isn't so weird.
If you've read a lot of Dave Barry over the years, nothing new here. Except some useful Spanish phrases, including:

`¿Dónde está la playa con la gente desnuda?'' (``Where is the beach with the naked people?'')
``Discúlpeme, pero usted ha parqueado en mi pie.'' (``Excuse me, but you have parked on my foot.'')

And a reminder that Miami is not your usual city:

...the airport is under the control of Miami-Dade politicians, who traditionally fall into one of three categories: (1) incompetents; (2) criminals; and (3) incompetent criminals.

and:

People have been known to spend their entire Miami vacation waiting for a table at Joe's, and yet they always come out happy, because the stone crabs are that good, plus they contain (Don't tell anybody!) heroin.